Disfigured

We all do stupid shit when we are running late for work. Leave the coffee pot on, wear one black sock one blue sock etc... Just last week I wore a pair of new pants and had a tag and buttons attached to my ass for about half of my work day, until someone finally grabbed it and pulled it off saying "I don't think you want this on."
But this next story...ugh..
My buddy Nick was running late for work...really late.. and realizing that he had less than one minute to make it inside before he would be docked as "late" he quickly parked his car, jumped out, ran across the lot and went to jump over the metal guardrail..that's when it happened. He realized mid-air that he had misjudged something and was now falling face first into the concrete. Maybe it was the tip of his shoe that got caught on the guardrail? Maybe he prematurely left the ground but whatever it was he was going down face first unless his hands could break the fall. I should also point out that it was about 3 o'clock in the afternoon and bright as a motherfucker outside. It wasn't slippery or icy or sandy and I don't think he was drunk? :)
So leaving the rest of the fall to your imagination lets flash back to me.
The day Nick fell, I was in a training class surrounded by the driest people EVER. I swear to Christ they were giving me cotton mouth just sitting that close to me!! As I sat there quietly listening to the instructor I feel my cell phone vibrate. I sneak the phone out under the table and flip it open. It was then that I saw the image texted from Nick. As I felt the chunks rise in my throat and my eyes bulge out, I fought the urge to scream... WTF?! I was in class.. trapped! I quickly shut the phone and tried to put the putrid images I had just seen out of my head as the phone vibrated again, only to display an image worse then the first.. if that was even fucking possible... I began to dry heave at my seat and had to excuse myself and go into the hallway. Once out in the hallway the vibration started again.. Begging for mercy but playing with fire, I opened the phone to see the last of the rotten text messages of the aftermath... PUKE!!! (Actual text images attached!)
Thank god he's not a lesbian!!!!! LOL