Cape Cod

Four hours in the car with a sleeping co-pilot who wakes up only occasionally for bathroom breaks or to shout out letters may seem like a long time but with my Sirius radio set to Alt-nation it flew by.
We were the first to arrive at our house in Orleans, Cape Cod only to find the foreign house keeper, sleeping on the couch hungover in front of the t.v.? When she saw us staring at her she popped up and started dusting?! Really... She packed up her "cleaning" supplies and wished us a happy vaca in her deep Russian accent. So we know the house wasn't really clean but when I found pieces of what I believe to be housekeeper's vomit in the upstairs bathroom I nearly puked myself.
Next on the agenda divvy up the bedrooms.
My sister's family was forced to the upstairs bedrooms because of the bunk beds and little ones. My father, opted out of the family vaca, so my mom was flying solo and she chose the room with a twin bed. Renee and I got a "full" bed.
Now, I love my girlfriend but we usually sleep in a king size bed and aside from our legs being intertwined we don't touch while we sleep. That is for a number of reasons, 1. she is an inferno causing me to sweat (more then usual), 2. Citu our chocolate lab separates us and 3. because when I drink too much I snore and my mouth is wide open and she doesn't want to look at that? Weird...So being forced into a full bed was like a dream come true. Literally face to face in a bed that's mattress folds outward so you constantly feel like your falling out of the bed... forcing you to clutch onto significant other for stability. The situation only improved when after a windy day at the beach I opened my book while laying in bed and 4lbs of sand poured out of the book and onto my stomach and sheets. Fuck... now I get to sleep on a paper thin, bent mattress covered in sand with sun burned knees/blisters and the girl of my dreams breathing hot breath in my face with a wet braid?.
Vaca continued with a trek to Provincetown with my girlfriend and my straight family members. Every summer we usually end up in Ptown during bear week, which is a little unfortunate for my bro-in law but this year he was spared. It was family week...but after biking 9 miles to the beach on our bicycles he told Renee and I his ass hurt so much he felt like he had spent time at bear week!! LOL
Ptown was overcrowded per usual but that didn't stop us from bellying up to an outdoor patio for some drinks and people watching. Visual stimulation included a drunk woman (at 3pm) stumbling out of her crocs, leaving her socks on and then walking onto the sandy beach? Hmmm...socks... in the summer... on the beach?
My nephew added something special when he declared that he had to go to the bathroom. He and my bro-in law disappeared into the bathroom as I waited my turn at the bar. Minutes later my bro-in law exited the tiny bathroom (no windows/vent) sweating profusely and asking the bar tender for toilet paper?! LOL He then disappeared back into the bathroom... after several minutes both boys exited the bathroom and I decided to pass on my turn. My bro-in law, sweating said "Jesus that place was so small that no matter where I stood I kept turning on the automatic hand dryer turning the shitter into a sauna!" My nephew said that people littered a lot in the bathroom. I bet he dropped some items too!!!!! LOL