Ladies Room

My work bathroom is disgusting because I have experienced the following:
5. Walked in on someone vomiting with the stall door open. People bulimia is not the solution to weight loss because if your fat ass couldn’t get a date before imagine your chances with puke breath and rotten teeth.
4. Witnessing someone drop an open tampon on that filthy floor and say "whoops" and pick it up and use it. Ladies they are called "sanitary" for a reason and the floor in that bathroom is anything BUT sanitary. I haven't seen that hand at work so I wonder if she vanished after contracting the clap or some other hideous disease from the floor.
3. Pubic hairs scattered about on the toilet seat and/or floor. Public rest rooms ARE NOT the place for pubic hair maintenance. Esp. when I happen to be one of the lone soldiers who SITS on the toilet seat...and yes I have actually leaned down nice and close to the bowl to blow the stray pubic hairs off of the seat...thank god they didn’t stick to my chap stick!
2. Having someone excuse themselves when they fart in the bathroom stall. Umm it’s not only embarrassing for you but for everyone else in the bathroom.. just pretend it didn't happen, use the flush method or strengthen your anus to help contain unwanted noises.
1. And the number 1 thing that I experienced was being in the bathroom with a "secret shitter" and having someone turn off the lights. Me and the shitter alone in the pitch black followed by the shitter saying something along the lines of "how am I suppose to do this in the dark?" followed by the crispy crispy sound of the shit coming out of their asshole. PUKE
God bless the handicap bathrooms even if you occasionally make someone in a wheelchair wait.