Deuces WILD

From the sound of my girlfriends laughter on the phone today I new her story was going to be blog worthy.
Today she was training her dog outside drinking tons of water when she realized she had to pee. She packed up her stuff and drove to the nearest bathroom at a local police substation. There were no cars parked outside the substation but probation officers were in the lobby. She raced passed them and into the handicap woman's bathroom.
As she opened the door she observed a police gun belt a strewn on the floor. Her eyes then paned over to the toilet where she saw a male police officer with his pants/underpants down to his ankles, standing slightly hunched forward with toilet paper in his hand mid wipe of his ass after shitting. Their eyes met and locked like a deer in headlights as his mouth formed a perfect circle. The stare down lasted for 30 seconds enough for her to take in the "hole" scene.
I asked how the showdown ended and she said that she was able to break the stare, scream and run out to the probation officers, who were pissing their pants laughing. They said, "he's been in there forever!" After all was said and done she had two questions... 1. Why the hell is he dropping a deuce in the woman's room? 2. Who the fuck wipes standing up?