P-Ride

Our two hour train ride into NYC Pride started off with us seated side by side on the "bar" car, where the only thing getting hammered was the filthy fucking bathroom. Person after person used the moving latrine (where blue water was sloshing about) and even though it was clearly written in red capital letters on the door "PUSH" each person would walk up turn the handle and pull the door. To their surprise when it didn't open they would stand (or try to stand it was pretty bouncy) directly outside the bathroom for approximately 2 min before we would inform them that the bathroom was in fact empty and to just push the door open.
When the bathroom game got old we busied ourselves with discussions of sex with dolphins, cellular phones inside vaginas, how dirty money really is and the fact that Kid (from Kid n Play see picture!) was actually sitting across from us!! These conversations grew more graphic as the bottle containing warm spiced rum and green tea became less full. Although the beverage was not thirst quenching those of us drinking it sure thought the buzz it created was satisfying!! Only downfall from the beverage.. Renee described my breath as smelling like a rotting compost pile??
Upon our arrival we made a direct root toward the parade and passed a lot men in drag, partially nude women and my personal favorite fall down drunks!!
A couple drinks & shots later and we were off to a party. Two for ones always get the girls... and by that I was referring to the drink special! The bar was dark (which made the lesbos seem more attractive) as we branched off from our friends to hit the bathroom. Bar full of woman = super long bathroom line... Renee thought it would be best to grab a couple of drinks while we waited. We were trying like hell to finish our drinks before we reached the front of the line... but that didn't happen. As Renee disappeared into one of the four tiny closets a woman exited making it my turn...
I entered the pitch black casket sized room (which contained a black toilet and 1/2 a sink)with only a dull red light bulb for illumination and tried to decide where the fuck I was gonna put my drink while I used the umm... toilet. I decided to chug it and then hold the cup in my mouth while I peed. This was a bad idea for a number of reasons but the worst one would be because I had misjudged the space between the toilet and wall so while squatting and leaning forward my face (mouth propped open with cup) was now smashed against a sticky wood panelled wall in the heart of Greenwich Village) is it any wonder that I woke up today with a cold sore?
I finished peeing... dropped the cup (fuck it) and attempted (why we will never know) to wash my hands in the busted sink.. water spilled out and now realizing that there was no towel/dryer etc.. I was forced to take sheets of tp to dry my hands, which of course broke into a million pieces and dropped on the floor which I then attempted to pick up but opted to leave on the floor after my thumb and pointer finger touched the sopping wet drain in the bathroom.... PUKE!!!!
Nothing that more alcohol wouldn't be able to kill!! Back to the bar!!
After sunning ourselves on the rooftop bar we walked a few blocks till we found a hotel party(it was the wrong hotel but what did we know) and made our way inside.
No cover... how bad could this be? I should have known when I saw the silver swings hanging from the ceiling (see picture) but we just continued on in...made our way to the roof only to find 100's of boys in speedos dancing and hooking up...Well New York is known for its wieners!!! LOL...
We ended our night by walking passed a drunken man kissing the tip of another mans flacid (but appeared soft?)penis by the pool.. We ordered two shots and one drink for a whopping $39 bucks!!! I guess gay marriage is going to cause some economic stress!! LOL!!!!!!