It had been a while since I heard a good "hook up" story so when this one came my way I couldn't resist sharing it!
I was at my local bar where friends work and usual hang so when the waitress who we shall call "Emily" came over to chat it wasnt anything out of the ordinary until my friend started to giggle and tells Emily to tell me the story about the other night... Emily rolls her eyes but agrees to share it..
So picture this... Emily is a waitress at the bar and there is a bar fly/drunk who we shall name "Rudy" who comes in nightly and had been flirting with her non-stop. Emily was not interested in the 35yr old (who looked 55 due to the booze/bad haircut) so she had taken the flattery and dismissed Rudy. Well after a grueling process Emily was finally accepted to a PHD program out of state and with the realization that she would be leaving the area soon and wanted to celebrate her acceptance... Cue Rudy...
Rudy comes into the bar, per usual, and starts up his usual banter with Emily who decides.. fuck it.. (literally) and takes Rudy home. (Mistake #1 Letting Rudy know where you live!)
Once at her apartment Rudy quickly disappears into the bathroom to "pee" when Emily hears her shower go on for about a minute and then off?? She thinks.. thats weird? Rudy exits the bathroom with wet hair telling her "I wanted to get sexy for you?" With wet hair?? Really?? ((Quick tip Rudy: Unless your fucking Squiggy from Lavern & Shirley don't slick your fucking hair back or get it sopping wet in a strangers shower!))
After changing her booze stained clothes she goes to look for Rudy... ((BEST PART EVER)) only to find him.. standing in her kitchen with the refrigerator door open, chugging Ragu right out of the fucking jar!!!! She is frozen taking in this unimaginable sight.. she said the marinara sauce was spilling down his face and onto his shirt as he drank from the jar... (I just threw up a little) she takes the jar away from him disgusted and as she cleans up the mess, still in shock, Rudy disappears yet again... (Mistake #2 letting him out of your sight AGAIN!!)
While Emily scrubbed the chunky bits of sauce off the kitchen floor she began to realize the magnitude of her decision to bring Rudy into her home and that she couldnt see him. She started calling out his name while searching the apartment for him.. not in the bathroom, not in kitchen, not in bedroom and as she walked into the living room Rudy pops out from behind the couch wearing nothing but underwear and a hat! SURPRISE!!!! Wow... (Mistake #3 After all that deciding to still have sex with him!)
This was by far one of the BEST HOOK UP STORIES I have ever heard!!! My hat's off to Emily we are gonna get along just fine!!! LOL!!
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