After our exhausting visit with Dad, shopping and the Walmart shitting experiences Renee and I made our way home. We showered and got all fancy for my big birthday dinner at an Italian Bistro.
We arrived at the packed restaurant and lucky us got seated right next to the bar where some fatty was tying desperately to impress this poor woman at the end of the bar who kept frantically texting!! (I can only imagine her friends were running late?) I wonder if he thought she was deaf and not ignoring him because his voice just kept getting louder and louder...
We ordered our food and as we sipped our beers we decided to play one of our favorite games as a couple. The 10,000 Pyramid Game, rules are very similar to the actual game show we just like to use people we know as the victims...I mean answers :) Renee was guessing first so here is her clue... I make a distorted face described as my mouth partially open, my eyes half shut and my lips dangling (Note a rule is that WE BOTH KNOW THE PERSON!!!) She struggles for a minute staring at me and YES I continue to sit at the table across from her with that fucking ridiculous expression on my face when she finally makes her guess.... "Gee I don't know...your Dad?" LLLLLOOOOOLLL!!!!!!!!
As we pulled ourselves back together our appetizer arrived. Calamari with a blood red sauce and chunks of peppers...that must have been what inspired me to tell the next story...
A story that my anonymous good friend Greg C. told me. First I have to set the scene for her as she dips the squid in the putrid looking sauce: Greg his wife and two daughters went on a cruise recently and they had a great time EXCEPT for this little problem. All four of them shared an indoor cabin with two twin beds, a pop up cot between the two twins and bunk off to the side. Greg slept in one twin bed his wife slept in the other and his daughters would rotate who slept between them and who slept in the bunk... Well one night Greg rolls over in his sleep and accidental punched his daughter right in the face! She started screaming!! Her nose was gushing so much blood that she vomited... his wife wakes up hears her crying and hits the light to find this horrific scene and promptly passes out!! Not to worry because by that point Greg..oh wait...never mind he slept through it!! The rest of the trip went off without a hitch except that every night after that the girls would cry that they didn't want to sleep next to daddy!!
Cheers!! Thank you all for making this an unforgettable birthday!!!! I am now officially "thirty two little too late!" LOL!!!!!!!
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