BiKrAm YoGa (let's get wet!)

So after a couple of months a friend finally talked me into trying Bikram Yoga. For those of you who don't know or care this is basically doing Yoga in a fucking oven.
The class room is heated to over 100 degrees and you are surrounded by mirrors, which would be great to check out your partially nude classmates if your eyes weren't burned shut from all the sweat pouring into them!
I convince my girlfriend to go with me. We arrive early as recommended and are now locked in the basement of a building which doubles as the oven. The studio finally opens we enter, fill out the required paper work and are basically told to get naked?! I like this place already!! While stripping off my clothes I notice that a man has walked in with a semi erect penis in light blue shorts and bigger breasts then me. The panic sets in... please god DO NOT let him be next to me!!! I mean I love breasts.. but not like that!!
We sit practically nude on leather chairs (which my thighs/ass stick to) make small talk with the other nudes and once the majority of people arrive we are lead into the oven.
The door opens and the smell of shoes and burned flesh fills my nostrils as I collapse onto my rented mat. I am so distracted by the fact that I am using a nasty rented yaga mat that I don't take time to locate the nearest exit. The poses begin! Basically I am in a porno. Lots of bare skin, breathing, stretching, sweating and of course vaginas. I think I have found my new niche!
The sweatier I get the nastier my mat and towel are to lay down on. One would think that I would have brought a clean towel to do yoga on in public but no.. where is the fun in that.. my sweaty body is now covered in my dogs hair which basically makes me appear to have extremely long pubic hairs all over my legs/belly and where ever else has touched the towel. I give a whole new meaning to the word HOT! I should probably add that I have cuts on both of my knees so I am wearing band aids and we all know how well those stick once they are completely saturated in sweat and blood. To sum it up I looked like a crack whore, which I might as well have been after all the fluids that were exchanged on that rented mat!!
It finally ended after an hour and 1/2. I exited the oven with soaking wet underpants and sports bra, which I was forced to drive home in for 20 minutes. I will probably get a yeast infection from sitting in wetness for that long but I am sure the white chunky yeast material that will pour out of my vag will only add to my yoga experience... esp since during several poses my face is mere inches from my vagina opening!