New Haven Randomness #2 TRACK 12

New Haven is only a train ride away from fantabulous NYC... So its no surprise that most peeps from the Haves head there to visit friends. Well this particular adventure happened to my friend "Rick."

Rick was headed to the city to visit with some friends, spend the night out and enjoy a day off. He parked his truck and moments before exiting he saw a water bottle on the passenger seat that was a couple days old and only half filled. Rick figured fuck it better take it just in case I am THAT THIRSTY! He grabs the old bottle and shoves it in the mesh part of his gym bag and heads to the train. Anyone who has had the pleasure of using Union Station knows all the mysterious wonders of walking down the steps into that silver tunnel which basically resembles the silver bra Madonna wore in the early 90's. As Rick sips his Starbucks and walks through the tunnel he sees a Metro North Police Officer talking to an extremely large, sweaty, dirty woman about her not panhandling inside the tunnel. Rick only hears a snip it of the convo which sounds like POLICE "Um, I'm gonna need you to calm down with asking for change. Ok?" The woman who we will call MAMA "Ok baby, you need me to calm down with the change baby." (said in a slow southern drawl) Rick continues on his way to Track 12 where he finds his train, boards and finds a seat in an empty car. He places his gym bag of clothes (mesh part holding water bottle facing out) and continues to drink his coffee. Moments later Mama enters the train and don't ya know sits down right fucking next to Rick. Rick attempts to put in his ear phones and avoid any/all interactions with Mama who has already started speaking in her lovely drawl "Track 12 baby, that's weird for NY...huh baby" all of this directed at Rick. Rick peers over at her and nods politely and again tries to go about his business. Mama leans over (more like a roll onto a giant tit and fat pocket with the only thing holding up her neck is lard) and says to Rick "Can I ask you something?" Rick "What?" Mama "Can I get some of that water?" motioning towards his drink in emergency bottle of water. He looks back at her to see her shoving a Subway cup in his face... "Sure" Rick attempts to give her water but she wants to hold the bottle he says no and finally convinces her to just open the cup.... Pours water in... Mama sips "MMMMmmm baby, that water is good...I could be your Mama, yeah give Mama some that water." Rick has basically reached his limit... as Mama says "Let me ask you one more question... does Mama have on too much lip gloss?" As she purses her lemon wedge sized lips his way with her face completely covered in gloss (much like a boxer with vaseline.) Rick stares at the putrid mess across from him... blink...blink and responds with "No, thats perfect." Cue the conductor looking for tickets and Mama disappearing... luckily Rick's sandwich was safe!!!! Days later when Rick returns from NYC it takes everything he has not to stop and say hi...as Mama is once again begging for change in front of the Train Station. Only in New Haven... and Only in Public Transportation!!!!