Bachelor parties are crazy just by nature and although I am a female I have witnessed my fair share of filthiness associated with such parties due to having pigs for friends. However, my sweet innocent girlfriend had no idea what actually occurred at these shindigs until our friend who we will call "Dylan Strappon" told her about his adventure from this past weekend.
Dylan attended a friends bachelor party this past Saturday and to no surprise it started out per usual. Tons of alcohol, raffles, sexual stories and of course strippers. These weren't just any strippers, they were "professional" (which just means they were paid ahead of time.) As the booze filled the audiences bellies the girls got more and more naughty... The usual, slip out of your clothes, dance around, gyrate if you will until they introduced strap on dildos and began to bang each other. The guys were in heaven! At this point in the story, Renee was utterly disgusted but continued listening because in reality this is typical stripper bullshit that goes on... (no one ever says how they were sweating, smelled of raw tuna and had baloney nipples) its just that epic baby oil smell and loose vagina lips slapping around, which is totally par for the course... until
One of the strippers, a big boned, sweaty female had enough of her female cohort. Her eyes danced through the crowd as she whipped her soul glow hair around until she found him... the groom to be. His friends were quick to volunteer him up on stage for a little fun. The stripper who will call "Ruby" had the groom lay down on the floor and pulled a contraption out of her bag...Oh whats this the crowd wonders? Oh just a dildo that she casually straps to the grooms forehead. Ruby then squats down onto the dildo attached to the grooms face (her head towards his feet so her puckered butthole can kiss his forehead) and begins to ride like the wind!! The crowd goes nuts as the groom trys not to break his neck... Ruby goes faster and faster until everyone is cheering (except the groom) and then just when everyone thought it couldn't get any better.... Ruby lets out a giant moan as blood begins to gush out of her body (we don't know what orifice) and cover the grooms face, head, hair etc.... The crowd goes silent... Ruby jumps off the grooms blood soaked head and runs dripping gallons of blood off stage.. (one onlooker claimed to have seen her uterus hanging out of her vagina) leaving a devastated groom to ponder what the fuck just happened as he wiped the burning, irony vulva blood from his eyes.. Ruby Red did not return, maybe she realized that fucking peoples faces in public is no way to get a-head!!! LOL!!! CHEERS TO EVERY FILTHY WHORE WHO WITNESSED THIS!!!! And shame on the people used to complain about getting watermelon juice on their shirts at Gallagher concerts..
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