I arrived home and could no longer really control my left leg and my back was getting worse. As I parked the car I prayed no neighbors were outside... Have you ever actually seen the "Humpty Dance" Well it goes a little something like this (slightly modified)
I fell out of the car cause the left leg is closest
I limped to the side like my leg was broken
Shaking and twitching like I was drunk or jokin'
Crazy, Wack, Funky
That's alright cause Cuddy was in motion
As I wobbled to the door it must have looked like
I was having a fit or convulsion
No two people will do it the same
You can only do this dance when in SEVERE PAIN
This shit was for real!!!! When I went to my Dr. he just stared the disc was so sore to the touch and it appeared as though I had a ping pong ball in my back. Dr. orders rest and physical therapy. Now I have done physical therapy before but this was a new experience for me. I walked in and it basically looked either like a sex shop or torture chamber. There were colorful ball, weights, leather things even some gags (it appeared) everywhere and three different "private rooms" along with curtains around certain "instruments" for privacy.
This did not put me off at all....I actually smiled at my new "therapist." First I was taken into a room where I had to lay on a table with used paper (it was ripped and I could see someone else's shoe print on it) and had my therapist push down on my hips...then a second person entered the room for my "pelvic thrusts." A pelvic thrust is exactly what it sounds like... I made sweet, painful love to the air while my new, we will call them dominatrix watched.
I was sore and tired from all that pumping (props to all you fella's out there!)... but the dominatrix was not done with me...she turns me over so that they can apply DIRECT PRESSURE TO THE DISCS!!!!! I was moaning in pain and realized how sexual this experience had actually become. This second position was only pained more by the attempt to relax the muscles around it.
As tears began to fill my eyes and the slightest moans escaped my mouth I thought Jesus when did I last feel this uncomfortable, nauseous and in pain...... OH YEAH losing my virginity with a man! As they continued moving my clothes around to poke and prod at my spine, it was then that I realized I was fucking wearing underpants that had Christmas Trees and said HO!!HO!!HO!! Its July. Fuck my life.
Finally they finished with using their hands on me. One of the dominatrix told me to go into the next room... Room 2.
ROOM 2
The table in this room was slightly tilted (pillow portion towards floor.) There were some sort of nylon straps, plastic buckles, leather corset and a machine in the wall. The machine had two thick ropes coming out of a metal box, with a bar between them. I start thinking holy fucking shit is that stick like a piece of leather for me to "bare down" on?! All I can think is sex swing...minus table.
As the door to Room 2 closes I see a women laying out IN PLAIN SIGHT on what can only be described as 4 beds pushed together, like an orgy bed I once saw in NYC?! I smile... thinking at least the tables are easy to clean unlike the sticky cushions I had sat on at that bar!!! The woman had some sort of a band attached to her feet forcing her legs to her face? It was then I knew I was in for an epic experience... whatever it was.
The door shuts only to reveal another leather device/harness with straps attached. (I am gay so I am pretty fucking familiar with a leather harness if you know what I mean!) My dominatrix removes the harness from the door and asks me to step into the leg straps.... Ummm awkward.... esp cause I have a days old stubble on my legs because I can't bend down to shave them, decide to make a joke about it...no laugh... ok, you fucking weirdo. Legs in harness and corset #1 goes around my waist, she adjusts all the straps (not used to this?) Next I am told to lay down on the table, which also has a piping hot water/towel baggie thing on it. Very Hot, not sexually. Dominatrix then pulls the second harness/corset up over my boobs and LITERALLY STRAPPING ME DOWN TO THE FUCKING TABLE!!!! Now I am a little nervous, I have worn harness, been tied to beds but this...this is weird. For a number of reasons mostly cause I don't even know her name?
Now that I am all "tied up" the dominatrix pulls the ropes out of the machine in the wall and attaches by METAL HOOKS to the legs harness. (Oh I forgot to mention that my legs are bent over a stool which was placed on the table so I can't even see the machine only stubble legs!!!! She asks if I am ready for "traction." My back is killing me and I just want this over so I agree.... The machine starts... Basically traction is when you are attached to a table by harnesses and straps and the machine pulls you from your lower body towards the wall separating you spinal discs. All I could think of at that exact moment was yelling "FREEDOM" as I was pulled apart. After 20 minutes of being stretched apart the machine shut off. I was released from the table and allowed to leave...and leave I did... two sweaty butt cheek marks on the table and finger nail impressions on the cushion.
Next time I would like a piece of leather to bite on!
So in between my visits to the dungeon my life consists of my mothers 1970's heating pad and pills.
On my next visit I am going to bring one of my wife's scarfs so that I can peacefully drop it during traction... TAKE THAT Mel Gibson!!!!
