Happy hour usually brings out the best in people but this past weekends was icing on the cake.
Several of us, friends, strangers and even some of my girlfriend's co-workers met a small Spanish watering hole to exchange stories over shots of patron and margaritas. *It should be noted that sampling tequila in shot form is like drinking truth serum and only makes amazing stories even more GRAPHIC/EPIC.*
The following is a brief recap of three of the most amazing anal sex stories I have ever heard... and even more amazing is all three happened to the same girl... "Tracy"
Story #1
Tracy went to a very well known college and had lived her life as a good girl up until college. She was now ready to "let her hair down" so to speak venture out, drink and take life by the or maybe life was gonna take her by the...dirty freckle. Within the first couple weeks of college life Tracy found herself drunk at a frat party with a handsome fraternity brother...IN A HOT TUB. One thing led to another and the next thing ya know Tracy was getting filled out like an application in the hot tub by the handsome frat boy. As the session went on the frat boy wanted to change locations but drunk Tracy refused due to the fact that it was cold outside of the 102 degree water. Frat boy coaxed her out with promises of a warm shower, which moments later is where they end up. Tracy explained that as she stood in the warm water she suddenly felt a sharp pain and the next thing she knew she was staring at the shower floor and getting drilled in the anus. Tracy was confused (since she had never had anal sex) as to how she ended up face down in luke warm water with rod up her ass. The story ends there until the next day when she wakes up in her dorm room with intense pain in her neck and bum. As she rubbed her neck she asked her roommate if there was something there and slowly moved her hair. Her roommates eyes bulged out of her head and told her "holy shit there is a huge bruise!" It was then that Tracy figured out what had happened inside the shower... she had fallen victim to the ultimate in sexual faux pas ...the donkey punch. (For those of you who don't know the definition a DONKEY PUNCH: The Donkey Punch is when your engaged in anal sex and when your about to ejaculate you punch the poor little lady in the back of the head so her anal cavity tightens making the orgasm all that more better.) All the more excellent is this was not only her first experience with anal sex it was one of three in a short time period... cue the next story!!
Story #2
After a long night of fun and debauchery Tracy and her male companion walked for several blocks discussing mostly filthy stuff until they found themselves at the beach... (at this point of the story I was so excited I was practically holding my breath praying she had fallen victim to another sexual act known as the screaming seagull... SCREAMING SEAGULL: While having sex on a beach, you remove your wiener and dip it in the sand. Then you reinsert. The result is a screaming seagull.) Lucky for Tracy she was spared the screaming seagull but her anus was not spared... because bachelor number 2 went straight for the poop shoot and before she knew it, she was waist deep in the dirty water getting fudge packed... ahhh water, salt and rock hard schlong equals and excellent cleaning followed by severe chaffing. Alls well that ends well... besides the ocean is full of foam whats a little extra?!
Story #3
The last story Tracy shared of the night involved her ex-boyfriend, whom she spent many years dating. After sharing laughs, stories and numbers Tracy found herself in what would be her boyfriends dorm room. The dead kid asleep in his bed was removed and they instantly ripped off each other clothes and began to go at it. *Both Tracy and BF were extremely intoxicated during this incident but whiskey dick never stopped anyone ;) right? So as the sex began it slowly started to build causing Tracy to make a distressed face, which BF found very concerning. BF asked Tracy what was wrong??? He was confused by her agonized face... Tracy was quick to respond with "Of course somethings wrong...your fucking my asshole!" LOL Nothing like the first time to break the ice or sphincter!!! (It should be noted these events occurred over a short time period and no anal sex has happened since. Tracy's ass is NOT a cum dumpster.)
I can't thank honest people enough!! These stories happen all the time and sharing is caring so keep the booze coming and the assholes open!!! WU HOO to pulsating poop shoots!!
