So my pregnant sister's water broke at 3am this morning and she and her husband finally left for the hospital around 7am. After a work meeting I dragged my friend, Amarillo with me to visit her at the hospital.As we were driving to the hospital chit chatting about babies and mucus plugs she began to tell me a very disturbing story about her second son's birth.
The story started slowly as she eased into the drama... She was nervous because she was having a cesarean and her regular doctor was unavailable. She would have to settle for the on call dr. As the contractions/pain got worse her fear intensified and only got worse as she heard the sound of rubber tires skidding on tiles and turned just in time to see the doctor, who we will call Dr. Pierna, coasting into the room in a fucking WHEELCHAIR.
You see Dr. Pierna was a paraplegic, which I thought was perfect because his face would be perfectly level with her vagina. The Dr. introduced himself and quickly wheeled right into her snatch to assess the situation. While Dr. Pierna was busy down below she made eye contact with her husband and they quietly began to argue about getting another Dr. while her husband explained that you can't just request another Dr. because this ones legs don't work?! She was trapped!
As Dr. Pierna reversed out of her vag he announced it was time for the surgery! Terrified Amarillo blurted out "your gonna do it?!" He smile and nodded as he skidded over to the sink to wash up! A sheet was raised so that she would not have to see her internal organs, which I guess is normal procedure during cesarean births(puke). She was now helplessly watching, through the sheet as the silhouette of the Dr. Pierna climbed with just his elbows on top of the table at which time she forced herself to look away. As the procedure continued she felt a lot of pressure on her belly and legs. She quickly glanced down to see Dr. Pierna teetering on his elbows with all his body weight on her lower half!!!!! I think that sight alone caused her to loose consciousness!!!! Needless to say she had a happy healthy baby boy that was pulled out of her belly by the scruff of his neck by a crippled doctor's mouth!!
Fingers crossed that my nieces birth is just as entertaining!!!!
