A Deep Clean

Anytime that I receive a text message from a female stating that they thought about me while in the shower brings a smile to my face. This next story is no different!

So a good friend of mine is in the shower yesterday rushing to get ready to go out. It was freezing yesterday so even though the heat was probably blaring in the bathroom cold weather can put a damper on anyones shaving experience. Any who my friend is in the shower washing when she decides to shave her lady parts. She grabs the shaving cream and gets a good lather going on her vag. She then takes her razor with a brand new head on it and slices into the overgrown jungle. As she shaves she is struck by the most awkward feeling, which she could only describe as burning yet refreshing at the same time. As she continued shaving the pain intensified and her pubic region began to glisten bright red and bleed! What the fuck was going on... she immediately rinsed her half shaven snatch as the burning brought her to her knees.. it was then that she realized her mistake.

While hunched over bleeding and in pain she observed the shaving cream can and its bright colors. As she turned the can to her surprise she realized that she had just shaved her vagina with Iso Active Aqua Toothpaste!!!! Her boyfriend said although her vag was patchy with hair it tasted very refreshing!! LOL

Game of Chance

While making my morning cup of java I was speaking with our secretary, Lora. Lora is normally very quite and the only time she gets up from her desk is for an occasional ciggy break.
Well today when I saw her she got silly and told me I was just the person she was looking for because she had a story for me. The smile stretched across my face as I poured the creamer into my coffee.
She started with the basics... that yesterday she and her husband took the day off and had gone to the casino for the holidays as her gift to him. Nothing kooky yet? She went on to say that she usually holds his money and distributes it in twenty dollar bills so that he doesn't blow through it.
After they arrived on the main floor of Fox woods she gave him his first twenty and told him that she would be playing Wheel of Fortune so when he needed more money that's where he could find her. He thanked her and disappeared into the crowd of gamblers. Lora wandered over to the slot machines only to find that her favorite machines, Wheel of Fortune, were already being used. Damn it. She then walked all the way to the opposite side of the casino and began to play.
Thirty minutes later she thought it was odd that her husband had not come to her for more money but assumed he must be winning where ever he was? Ten minutes later he appeared beat red and sweating.
He began his story with "Please God tell me I just asked you for twenty dollars" he asked her looking petrified. Shocked and concerned she told him no and wanted to know what was going on. Visibly shaken he sat down next to her and explained how he had burned all his money on one slot machine and then had wandered around trying to find her for more money. He finally found her at the Wheel of Fortune slot and walked up behind her and began rubbing her back. She said nothing. After a couple more minutes of back rubbing he asked her for twenty bucks and she faintly said "NO". Confused and thinking she was grumpy about losing he began massaging her shoulders and giving her pep talks. Again asked her for money but this time when she said No her voice was different. It sounded nervous... He leaned forward to find that THIS WAS NOT HIS WIFE and the woman he was touching was a complete stranger!!! He bolted across the casino before she had time to get the police!! What a filthy pig... wish I was at the casino yesterday!!! LOL